Since Eckhardt Tolle wrote his popular book “the power of now”, the “here and now” became a goal for many of us. If you believe the “here and now” is the goal, you will easily believe that it does not matter what you do there as long as you are doing it in the “here and now”. In a way this is true. But it is important to understand that the here and now is not the goal but a gate. What’s behind that gate is unconsciously quite threatening to you. All reason for you to stay before that gate as long as you can.
No matter how much you believe you want to reunion with your essence, once you have left that state to become part of the world. When you were very small you allowed the world to bewitch you, coming from a panic to be isolated from others. And since you were dependent on them, you were very right to do so, because you would not survive without them. That old fear is rooted deeply into the base of your personality. Every time you really become close to your essence that old fear will come to the surface. If this doesn’t happen, you for sure can know that what you behold your essence, probably is some “feel good movie” or linked to the wonderful, liberating feeling that occurs after an intense healing process.
I myself have experienced that I prolonged for a long time in a State of loving freedom but meanwhile, slowly but steadily something from the inside was very eager to work on the recurrence of another fall from paradise. I saw it happen, but the conditions were so extreme that I slowly was imbibed. Something inside us all is hard to convince about the benefits of “clarity”. Something in us is very afraid.
Fear is the hardest emotion to resist and to see through. We’re not going on pills because of grief or anger. We take pills as we have anxiety and panic attacks or when we lose control. I have learned that it is necessary to train on a daily basis to be able to stick to what is coming up in the mind, on my own without others. Once the other person seems to add something to you; a hand on your shoulder, a hug or a loving or compassionate look, you immediatly have something muted and you are already lost.
The “here and now” is the gate. And many of us are exuberant playing in front of that gate, along with each other. It’s a wonderful time full of intimacy and liveliness. But it is important to see that many of your ecstatic experiences arise from liberation of oppressed, unfinished stuff from the past. That liberation can lead you in front of the gate or even behind it for a moment. Most of the time it is very temporary because we did not learn to soften the basic program of the mind and we did not stick around the fear long enough. What I see is that many people continue to finish, continue to heal and get stuck. In fact you are repeating your old nightmares time after time again, no matter how tasty it feels afterwards.
So the old, traditional teachers keep telling us: Stop playing, “just sit and stay with it”!
I know, it is not a popular message. Me also particularly like the tantric road. So thank God the good news is, it can be both. If you only know what the distinction is between real and fantasy. If only you know when you are experiencing the freedom of the child you used to be or when the profound freedom of the adult enters your inner space.