After spending an eternity in a state of entity the world around you came alive.
Before you knew it, there was pushed against you. Your head was pressed in a narrow dark hole by forces you did not comprehend. Driven, not knowing where you went you arrived crushed and shocked in this world. You reached out with your arms, shouted your lungs out, longing to feel safe, searching to be welcome.
Naturally you focussed all of your attention on your mother or father. Hurt in your trust you searched for their unconditional love. Afraid and with detailed precision you pointed an antenna on the people which held your life in their hands. You were not able to master yourself. Helpless and defenceless you sheltered in their protection. You recorded their moods, their expectations, their responses. Every behaviour that brought their attention you kept, Everything that didn’t work you let go. This way you shaped your character, building your personality. This way you made sure you grew up as safe as possible.
To stay accepted and taken care of by the people around you, you discovered very quickly what person you needed to become. Dependent as you were, you learned to move within their space. It wasn’t easy and it for sure was not succeeded by you at once, to control that impulsive, cheerful aliveness. You contracted your muscles, you held your breath, and through the years you were able, to fix and control that lovely, jumpy body of yours, that source of vitality and spontaneous energy.
Today I would love to take you with me to Tanzania, away from your patterns and habits. To look in the mirror of life, to touch your hidden beauty, to invite your body to sparkle, to bleach your shame to breath fully, to free your aliveness from the cellars of your being.
Yes, that was how it was and that is how you can be again!