Fear of the positive

When you think about fears, you maybe think about unpleasant things. Things like losing your job, your partner, your house, your children. eendje by KanarYou maybe think about the fear to lose control or being alone, not to fit in or to get ill. In Africa there will be fear of hunger or thirst, coldness or dry periods. But what about the fear to live fully?
Do you recognize this?
* you are breathing up into the chest instead of relaxed into the belly
* you danced wild at a party or sang loud on Karaoke and the next day you feel ashamed. What did I do? What will other people think of me?
* Do you recognize how scary it is to look somebody in the eyes longer then a brief moment? In Tanzania nobody looks each other in the eyes. It is considered respectless. Msafiri and I tried to do it one time. A strong shyness came up. It was terrible to him.

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Many of our fears have to do with good feelings, good sensations, like feeling alive, being expressive, being spontaneous, being wild, being powerful or free in movement, to enjoy or to be truly happy. People even can be afraid to be intelligent, enthousiastic, loving, touching, to be honest, to take lead or to come forward. You can call it in general a fear of the positive.

It has all to do with memories from your childhood. Somehow you felt rejected on positive qualities you had. A nice example in secondary school is the phenomenon that young people with high marks are easily called studs or nerds. The message is clearly, don’t be too bright. Many children under social pressure will get their results down. And later in life they will feel tension when they have to give a presentation about the good work they did.

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Fear of the positive is the most difficult fear to overcome. Every time you pass it, you will feel completely vulnerable, which is hard to endure. You really need to be persistent not to run back in the safe old fears. That is why it is important to join a group of people that are supportive and know what happens to you.

During our safaris you maybe will meet fear of wild animals or inconvenience when we meet local people. But also the vulnerability of real contact, be quiet together, move freely, to be open and honest and to show yourself. But isn’t it wonderful to join people who allow you to be yourself?

And wild animals? It is very possible that they are more scared of you then you of them.

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