Connecting from the heart in Usambara Mountains

Happy-go-lucky lives in the heart

Energy will flow where you bring your attention. When your attention is pointed at your head, then your energy will go to your head. When you focus on your heart, then your energy will follow and enter your heart.  
If you are focussed on the qualities of your head for a longer time, you are creating a groove in your bio-computer. This will be the place more and more that you live from. It is like your home. It will determinate where most of your responses come from. 

het hart spreekt in Tanzania

 

If you succeed to bring your attention for a longer time to your heart, then you will make a new groove in your bio-computer. In your heart you can find qualities like love, happiness, humour, playfulness, connection, peace, wisdom, and happy-go-lucky. Everybody longs for these qualities but unfortunately, they are overwritten by the deeply rooted processes in the head and all the worries that come from our thoughts.

Why a fifteen day Christmas Safari with Mindful Adventure to Tanzania?

If you wish to live more from the heart, then we offer you the unique opportunity to create a groove in being with your heart. For 15 days you will walk, be, live, speak, shine from your heart. You will be supported to have your attention with the heart. You can experience what changes inside yourself and between you and other people will occur when you do this.

To create a new heart-groove and to overwrite the old head-groove is not a small thing. It means you make a conscious choice who you want to be en where you want your attention to be. It can be the beginning of a new life perspective and show you the way to more happiness and content.

I am not saying there is something wrong with responding from the head.  The head offers an overview, clear insights and analyses, the ability to relativize, to abstract and deduct. It offers a sort of control if needed. But if the balance is gone we will get miserable, cold, distant, without feelings, afraid, lonely and stressed, even when you hide it behind a socially accepted mask, because almost nobody wants to appear like cold and distant.

Het hart volgen in usambara Mountains

 

After this “of the beaten track” Safari in Tanzania with everything a true adventure should contain, you will know forever what is needed to find the way back to love and harmony in your heart.

https://mindfuladventure.nl/en/laugh-while-you-still-have-teeth/

Karibu (welcome)

 

personal leadership

Personal Leadership, can I?

Personal Leadership, Can I?

“Yes Alina”: says my friend and guide Rama. “If something uncomfortable happens to me, I am not concerned with the reasons why, looking back to the past, complaining about this or blaming others. I focus immediately on the solution. It has already happened”.

“Personal leadership in my opinion is the skill to lead my own brain and send it in the direction of my desired future. Just like you, I have a unique, creative, intelligent potential which, if addressed, can become a self-driving force in my personality. What was limiting me for a long time was the strange sensation, that it somehow wasn’t really allowed by me. Is it okay to think what I want to think? Is it okay to take the lead and tell myself: “Hee listen! It stops right here and right now. This path we have been walking long enough. Let’s take this direction for a change”. It was as if I was not entitled to take me by the hand and it was as if a powerful message inside directed me to be reactive in life and not active. And my God I waisted a lot of time doing so. I knew I was able to reflect on my thoughts and feelings but I never realized this reflective quality showed me there is a leader inside, who is able to direct and guide my mind.

There never has been a tire fixed by grumbling about it.

                                                                  Roel Meijvis

persoonlijk leiderschapToo often we follow beliefs and thoughts that don’t help us any further. If we observe them, we can notice that they tend to fight against how things are. This mindset creates a chronically dissatisfied mood. But what would happen if we stop to contradict reality? I’ve found that I can make new choices each time about things that happen to me. I can not allways avoid them to happen, but I can choose not to expect from others or life to bring the change that I want. For some reason I have become a brighter, friendlier, happy-go-lucky and more loving person

Being authentic
I have discovered it is essential for personal leadership to free myself from cultured passivity and an helpless dependency from perfect circumstances. If I let the idea go that I am depending on perfect lifeconditions to be happy and relaxed, the necessary inner space arises to live in an authentic and powerful way. Then I start leading myself, others and the direction my company is going in a positive way.

A hike into the bush, why?
To meet your own, mostly unconscious dependencies, it helps to step into the bush of Tanzania and let it shuffle the perfect life-conditions we were raised in. Tanzania is chaotic, unorganised (in our eyes), wild and unpredictable. Nature is still in charge and circumstances are challenging. In the bush are no distractions, no internet and no comfort. In short, it offers the perfect scenery for facing the moments you start fighting reality. But also to meet the tendency to outplace your own responsibility for your feelings and thoughts.

persoonlijk leiderschapBy freeing yourself from dependencies, you will discover how strong you are. It will connect you to your freedom and more laughs when you run into an unexpected bump (usually no mountain).  You recognize the adventurous situation you entered instead of shouting it should never have happened because it doesn’t meet your expectations.

I believe it is time to understand how our brain should be our servant and not the other way around any longer. But we need to show this programmed computer in our head the way out of the maze of limited thoughts and feelings that control our lives in a negative way.

Mindful Adventure is organizing many safaris to educate you in personal leadership and what is needed to retrain your brain. In the meantime, you are enjoying a real “off the beaten track” safari.

Karibu!

geniaal kind

All kids until four are genius

geniaal kindAll kids until four are genius. By the time they are ten years old, only 10% is genius. By the time they are 30 years old, we are talking about only 2%. This is the confronting, shocking outcome of a big long running American research.

It is true. Of course it is true. It is unbelievable what we learn in the first four years of our lives. We learn a language and sometimes two languages without books and drilling. And all of u scan do it. Every child can do it. Children that only seem able to remember 10 words at primary school, were also able to do this, without any problem.

In the following years there is a huge differentiation in levels. Suddenly there are children with learning disorders and that are in need of special attention to develop laborious in the direction we determined for them. Our teachers are busy with children with all kinds of behavioral and concentration disorders.

Why is that?

Read more

reality or illusion

Reality or illusion, what do you choose?

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away”
Philip K. Dick

All day long your mind is talking to you, thousands of messages are passing by. It all works completely mechanical and automatic. They arise and disappear by itself. Regularly every day you get stuck to it because you believe in a certain thought that arises. Bam…. you’re being cought. For me there is no difference wether this is a positive or a negative thought. Both of them don’t nessecarily have anything to do with reality. For you it may mainly concern negative thoughts that you get stuck to, that are repeating itself, and are directly evoking annoying feelings and tend to make your life miserable.

If we feel unhappy too often, we quickly think of big events that are bothering us. It must be some trauma. Something terrible must have happened in our past. And yes, during therapy, a lot is coming up. We are not aware that much of what comes up is made up of distorted memories and even made up events and experiences. Bam… you’re being cought.

Read more

ZIN met Maria Goos en Marcel Musters op mindfulness safari

Maria Goos on mindfulness safari

(Maria Goos is a well known writer in the Netherlands. Her travelstory can be read in the magazine ZIN (March 8-April 4, 2018 – in dutch)

Maria Goos in Tanzania

Maria Goos in Tanzania

Surrender versus sane criticism
“Marcel tells me again “to start to surrender to what may come”, and not to be so critical. He emphasizes that we are experiencing things that people in touring cars would only dream of! That is true, and I also like that. But I also think: how for heaven’s sake are we going to solve this?”

In the summer of 2017 Maria Goos (wellknown scriptwriter of a.o. Old Money and Cloaca) and Marcel Musters (wellknown actor and one of the founders of Theatregroup Mosquitowiththegoldentooth) are coming with us on a mindful road trip in North West Tanzania.

Even though at the end of the article Maria wholeheartedly says she had an amazing trip, and would choose again for the “chaos” instead of choosing for a streamlined safari in a touringcar, she also struggled. Many things went different then she had expected.
During the trip I sometimes had to smile. My whole life went different then I had expected. To be followed immediately by “thankgod”. But also: “what did it hurt for such a long time!”.

Read more

Vrouwen rechten Tanzania

Maasai women right’s in Tanzania

International women’s day
Masaï vrouw met kindThe emancipation of Maasai women in Tanzania still has a long way to go. In the cities is some movement. Especially young women are becoming aware of the sex differences because of the internet and sometimes in their contact with Western people.
In modern Tanzania having one woman and monogamy has become the standard under the influence of Christianity. Although men regularly reveal to me that the first African man who does not “cheat” on his wife more then once, still has to be born. The women seem to tolerate that and keep silent. More important in this third world country is that they have his children. Those children give her a certain guarantee to be first in his life and this way they ensure a house and enough to eat. The modern women work outdoors but are generallyexpected at home.  For example, it is allways a man who will join me on a trip. If I ask a woman to come, many times she refuses.

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Jacaranda tree in Tanzania

The tree and the prudish flowers

An ode to my best and wise friend in Tanzania

When I finish a phonecall with Rama, we useually end with a time-consuming goodbye ritual, which I complete with joy out of respect for him. I see it as a Tanzanian tradition, but to my surprise I catch Rama more then once not even saying goodbye to people after ending a phonecall. So it occurs to my mind lately, it is very possible he thinks also it is a dutch ritual to perform.
Most of the time the ritual is like this:

R: Lala salama (goodnight) Alina
A: Lala salama pia (goodnight to you too) Rama
R: Asante (thanks) Alina
A: Asante pia (jij ook bedankt) Rama
R: Don’t think too much any longer okay?
A: I will try Rama, Thank you.
R: Bye, byebye, byeeeee, bye Alina, bye
A: Bye, byeeee Rama, take care, bye, byebye. Oh don’t forget to call D tomorrow okay?
R: I can do that. Bye
And so on……Sometimes when we allready finished the ritual, something spontaneously comes up. Yesterday it went like this:
R: Njozi njema (sweet dreams)
A: Njozi Njema……… ehh Rama do you ever have nice dreams?
R: Yes Alina sometimes I have, very nice dreams. But when I have malaria ohh then they are very bad.
A: I never have nice dreams. I wonder therefore about the dreams of other people.
R: Yes Alina I think it will get better when you say sorry to your father.

Read more

manipuleren

Manipulation in relationships

To paste your story on the other person is the beginning of manipulation and disrespectful violence. The story you paste on others is directly connected to your own desires and wishes. You desire something, the other must fulfill it and if this happens in an insufficient way, you will set your reproachful story on the other and start your manipulation of him. If someone is acting in line with your wishes, you probably will paste a positive story on the other. But both stories are about you and not about the other. Looking at both stories you will see your own desires are central.
The misery and worries of our mind are coming from a sense of dependency on other people we carry around. We believe we need the other to be happy. And we tell ourselves happiness depends on the ability of that person to make us happy.  Romantic love is in essence nothing else but the idea that the person we fell in love with can make us more happy than others. When he or she fails, deeply inside we panic and start manipulating the other to force him or her to fulfill our needs better. Read more

mensafari Tanzania

Receiving and relaxing are one

I am learning something lately. I learn really something that I’ve found incredibly difficult. I am learning that receiving and relaxation is one. This lesson is not new but the level goes deeper now. I learn to be on time to say: “listen this is not going to be solved. Here we are really quite different. We will not meet each other, I accept that”. And to my great enjoyment that nagging, sometimes sickening or even ripping feeling inside, what can stick around for hours, lets go of me and I can continue what I was doing before the argument started. Trying to solve everything, explain yourself, repeating the same arguments because you can not believe  someone does not get it, has been many times exhausting and sometimes like hell in my life. Honestly receiving what is truly happening creates relaxation and makes me free.

I learned receiving more how things are thanks to Tanzania. I experience how people leave each other alone in that country in a psychological way. And I experience that if I attempt to do some digging into somebody elses mind, soon I feel uncomfortable by their reactions, especially about myself and what I’m doing. In the beginning I missed it. I felt myself thrown back, even ignored sometimes. I felt alone as if something was missing in depth and connection with the people because I could not communicate my psychological insights with them. It felt like I could not be me at all. But after weeks in Tanzania, I feel a relaxation that results from leaving each other alone. And if there is a problem, then it is discussed. Arguments are not repeated in that conversation and if it is completed, it is finished. Attempts by me to reopen the discussion fail many times. “It was finished yesterday Alina”: they claim.

distance between people

by Paula French

My most pervasive experience with learning to let it be, happened in fact years ago between me and my mother. In 2011 I suddenly realized my mother had come to the end of her live. That touched me deeply. It hit me especially since the relationship with my mother had not been successful from the beginning. As long as I could remember we found ourselves at a great distance from each other. I realized how painful this was, much more painful than the death of someone whom you loved much. My mother was going to leave and I would have to live on with the realization that the relationship between us never worked out. I have cried terribly.

The next day I went to see her. I found her sitting at her table in front of the window in the nursing house, a lonely woman. After some chitchat we fell silent. And in that silence I hear myself say: “mom, you and me it just didn’t work out right? We have not been able to truly meet each other all these years. I feel the need to accept that together with you “. She began to cry. “This is awful”: she said. “I do not think so”: I said gently. “it is what it is”. She paused long. When I left half an hour later and was standing at the door, she looked straight in my eyes and said, “I’m going to try it Alne”.

From that moment on, something changed between us, something relaxed. I went every week to see her. The moments she was victimizing herself, I allowed her, If she was moaning dramatically, I held her hand (this gave me much resistance in the past), I drove her around in her wheelchair and it was no problem to me. Sometimes she could no longer hold her own head up. That struck me in my heart and I carried her head for her, one of my most intimate moments with her. Also my mother had changed to me. The caustic remarks began to stay away. The wary comments, distant looks, the puffings and continuous tension between us disappeared; the hatchet was buried. We were receiving each other finally in how it was and we relaxed.

Nine months later she died and I had found peace inside.

receiving

by Lindsey Parker

The moment we both accepted the truth of our relationship, we came to peace with it. Something relaxed. And out of that relaxation we were able to leave each other alone psychologically. Then things became possible for me that I had never been able to give her before; the right to feel a victim, complaining, puffing about me whenever she needed and hold her hand. I am very grateful for these moments.

 

 

Ngorongoro Tanzania - foto Servan Ott

As the day unfolds….

I’m already for two weeks in Tanzania now, this time without travellers, but for business. What a beautiful experience! When I’m leaving the house in the morning, I don’t know where I will end up at night. Sometimes it makes me literally dizzy of everything that is happening. Yesterday night we arrived unscheduled and in total darkness at Wag Hill Lodge, outside Mwanza. The winding road took us to a remote area. The headlights of the car were shining their light on the bush. Always exciting, this kind of venture. After half an hour, we are arrive at a wooden gate. Rama hits the claxon and a young security man in striking outfit opens the door. A red baret? A dark blue army sweater? Perfect English? This is not an ordinary guard. A second man with red baret and striking red coat, joins him, his face has a tight expression, like the marechausee. His tone to Rama sounds like an interrrogation. I start to feel uncomfortable.

A motor stops at my side of the car. Three well dressed girls are leaving the gate, their faces notable made up. Wag Hill Lodge MwanzaI think, “aren’t they too young to go out?”, while I’m talking to them. In the meanwhile, Rama gets the message we are not allowed to come in. The guests are asleep, and they don’t want us to disturb them. Already asleep? At 8.30pm? I explain I don’t have time to come back, that I’m going back to the Netherlands, and that I just want to have an impression of the lodge, and that I never bring clients to a lodge that I haven’t seen with my own eyes. The guard leaves to talk to the manager. I hear Rama say: “I don’t like this Alina, something is wrong here”. The manager refuses to let us in, we can come back tomorrow morning. To my surprise Rama insists we want to get in tonight, but it doesn’t help. Through the phone, the manager shouts that no means no.

Without saying anything Rama turns the car. “Those were school children Alina”, he says. There are many boarding schools in this area. I get pale as I understand why he is upset. “Inside that lodge, some hotshot or government figure is throwing a party”, Rama says angrily. No lodge will ever refuse a tour operator that comes to inspect the place for his guests. Silent we drive the way back. Today a visit to the police.

Here, the days unfold by itself.

Of course they always do, but in Tanzania I experience this to the extreme. Surrendering to that brings the adventure alive.

So we ended up with a very old Sukuma Chief, Charles Kaphipa. Charles is a living history book, and during one and a half hour I was captivated by his stories. During the time of the English domination, before his night of initiation as Chief of the Bukumbi region, he was beaten up. His attackers had digged a grave and buried him. For a short time he was in there, almost suffocating, and then released. This ritual served as a symbol of letting go of his old identity and being newly born as a leader.

Charled turned out to be a Chief with vision with his heart in the right place. He was pleading for the position and the safety of older women in his tribe. The Sukuma tribe still has the primitive and superstitious habit to murder women with red eyes, because they think they are witches. Those red eyes are not strange when you realize those women are cooking on wooden fires in unvented huts. I have a clear memory of my own eyes and coughing attacks when I tried to protect my face behind a shuka during meals in a Masaï hut.

The old women found protection with chief Kaphipa. In the end the Sukuma took revenge by murdering his sister. The grandson of Charles is telling about this emotionally in this video.

Later he tells me the threatened women were sitting in a circle in front of the house, often couldn’t walk anymore, and defecating in that place. He cleaned their faeces and his grandfather learned him to show respect for old people.

While I’m listening to the stories, I feel connected and happy. So many people in this country know to touch me. How is that possible? And the answer that comes to me is authenticity. The people here live their lives as it presents itself to them. They are who they are. I don’t see a lot of ideal self. Everything is also unfolding in them. They are not working on eachother, they don’t try to improve eachother, no psychological analyses. They act in the moment to their best, and all consequences are accepted. The experiences are therefore pure and innocence is coulouring the heart. The faces of old people often are very powerfull, full of character and soft.

A bit later, I don’t believe it myself, I am in flamingo pose on the roof of the teachers house in Mwanza. I’m doing a tough yoga class with Nina and sweat is streaming over my face, while I am enjoying the beautiful view over a dusky Mwanza Rock and Lake Victoria. In the air I see the shapes of a dozen of black birds against the evening sky.

What a thrill to experience all of this.