The distinction between an adult and a child

You could say we have two divided parts in ourselves. One part of us is centered around the experiences of the adult that we are, connected to what is really happening in this moment. The other part of us is centered around past experiences. This part of us is like an automatic pilot acting and responding out of past conditioning. We believe our history is a good thing, helping us to find our way through life and protecting us from all dangers crossing our path.

Hmmmm all dangers crossing our path? Let me think when was the last time a real danger came by? This morning I slipped during jogging and I grapped with my hand into a stinging nettle. God it hurted really bad for two minutes. I almost cried. ……Ooh not real danger? Hmmm What about this one? Two days ago I was talking to myself during a walk when suddenly a young man threw the door of his parked car open and shouted at me if I was nuts. It was really threatening to me. …..What? Not real danger? Because he went right back in his car after he spitted out his judgement? Hmmm let me think. You have a point there. Pom pom pom pom pom….. An operation! I had an operation 16 years ago. Anything can happen during an operation right? …..What?….If it did happen? No nothing happened. Everything was fine. Why?

In reality we are almost never in real danger. Still we are full of fear and we developed all kind of strategies to defend and protect ourselves. Most of our strategies are born in our childhood; a period in our lifes that we are vulnerable and even helpless. We have this mortal body and we depend on others to survive. The world may seem a dangerous place many times and without the skirts of our mam we would get crazy of fear. As a child we were helpless and we needed strategies to keep in control of our fears. An adult is not helpless and he does not depend on others to survive. That is why a lot of the old strategies are not serving his life any longer. On contrary they are blocking and limiting him in many ways.

During meditation we learn to make a clear distinction between the adult and our inner child patterns. We can see what is part of our old childish strategies and what is part of the adult that we are. We can see that the old fears are rooted in helplessness. When we recognize this we can deprogram our minds, relax and be more free, strong, capable and loving in our daily life.